“This failed to mollify commenters”

There’s no chance his accomplices get charged with anything.

#NotAllWhitePeople

This is what white people chose for leadership.

Yeah, all this just sounds like boilerplate third wave feminism.

Pretty onbrand for white women.

No crack for you!

If we are going to do that can’t we at least smoke the crack?

Kunafa has like three ingredients, you had to hunt down a recipe for it?

Knafeh for breakfast is a serious gangster move. It makes sense, though, since it’s high in fat and sugar and has some protein.

My aunts and cousins make this for the holidays. They seem to have a system down — my aunt even assembles it at home, leaving out the syrup and rosewater, then adds the syrup and rosewater when she arrives at her destination and bakes.

I’ve never heard of Hokey Pokey or Sea Foam, but you can get Canadian bacon on a pizza literally anywhere.

Seattle? I stepped on a patch of grass this morning and sunk down to my ankle. On grass! I almost lost my shoe.

you don’t need to resort to theft.

Dafuq is with that IG pic? Is that his “least reliable meth dealer in Oklahoma” look?

You mean the darker gray-colored flash between the skin and the rest of the flesh? Isn’t that where most of the omega-3s are? It’s delicious! Just eat it along with the crispy skin. 

Yeah but they taste better this way

Listen, a Hot Pockets breakfast gets the job done, and if you’re eating breakfast Hot Pockets, that’s really all you’re hoping for, isn’t it? You don’t need to be having some sort of revelatory, transcendent experience like you’d hope for in a brunch Hot Pocket. All you want is to quickly eat something familiar…

This is the correct take.
Give me wax-sealed reliquiaries or give me death!