Wait, Jeff George is looking for work? Phew. I thought I was going to have to seriously consider bringing Kaepernick in for a workout.

I DO know the actual name (and I will spare you the indignity), but I don’t even notice the Deadspin moniker anymore, so ingrained is it that All Takes Matter is the true and rightful name of this minstrel show.

Nope, it’s genuineness. I don’t want to know, nor do I need to know, the name of this dumbass show.

Wait, hold on, it’s not called All Takes Matter?

Seriously, I’m Canadian, we don’t get FS1 up here.

Although we do love the channel for changing format and giving us Jay & Dan back.

My favorite Deadspin bit so has been your insistence on calling this show All Takes Matter. I have no idea what this show is actually called and I love it that way.

A source familiar with the situation tells us that the producers of Whitlock’s show made a collective decision to spike the segment because it didn’t meet their standards.

because it didn’t meet their standards.

Doesn’t GarField hate dogs, though? Or is that just Odie?

I know a guy who needs a job who can’t even FIND red flags.

OJ is out October 1. Running backs coach?

Those people don’t look remotely like the people.

One New Years’ Day found me and a compatriot driving through Beatty, Nevada - a town where the bank was in a mobile home, trailer hitch and all.

Granted, it’s not the main point of the story, but I just hope that when my time comes, my mom will be able to regale people with loving remembrances like “Before he started losing his hair and gaining weight, he was very good looking.”

I vividly recall the laughter in my small-town Illinois newsroom when this broke. I also recall the ashen-faced editor looking at all of us and saying “Can you honestly say that wouldn’t have happened here?” That’s all it took. No more placeholders.

Small town papers are the best for epic screw ups. One week ago my town newspaper printed the paper... from one year prior. Just straight up delivered us a one year old paper. It was hilarious.

After my junior year of college I dropped out for a year and worked as a copy editor at my hometown newspaper. We were a bit bigger than the paper above (we had 2 copy editors, a couple reporters, a sports editor, and an editor-in-chief). Our Sports Editor made $13 an hour after having been with the company for…

The alliterative beauty of “Dixon sucks donkey dicks” is undeniable.

“There was nothing out of the ordinary, outside of him masturbating in the store,” Edmisten said.