But who is in her league? That’s a problem.

Drake is John Legend? I don’t get your Chrissy Teigen comment.

come on let’s have an honesty moment, Rih is too good for drake. We all know this.

Within the industry, she’s rumored to have a really well programmed OS that only needs occasional patching.

“Tayke”, as in “please tayke my photo and put it on the cover of your magazine.”

Their shipping name would be “Drift.” And any time you want to talk about them you say, “Did/Do you catch my Drift?”

fuck, man.

I was going to get something out of her bathroom. Toothpaste or toilet paper, maybe both. Had I preemptively heard a noise I’m sure I would’ve just cheesed it. Wasn’t necessarily the pinnacle of bravery in my youth.

Oh, ok! Let’s not worry about any of this because GV Goat’s wife doesn’t have issues with Uber!

Noice.

Here’s a start to the party...

Always the Tiffany, never the Ivanka, eh Chris?

So wait, was it just a hole through the floor revealing the ground underneath, or like a literal endless pit to hell?

Fuuuuck. What did you do when you saw him?

When I was young our house was broken into and I noticed the intruder hiding under my moms bed by looking in a floor length mirror she had. Guess who’s not a fan of using a bed frame?

For whatever reason, I was the most terrified by the mental image of a would-be attacker crawling on the floor. Just fucking terrifying.

Wow. Have you ever read Gavin De Becker’s The Gift of Fear? Might make you feel a little better about it.

This is some major Gift of Fear shit and it made every hair I have stand up. You are so, so, so lucky you got out of there alive.

“You knew, but you still came inside. We’re too afraid of being rude to go with out animal instinct and get away from danger.”