I took the shot I had. No one's setting me up with a Double Nickles on the Dime reference here.

Am I reading this right? Does Univision think I'm a Millennial? Or multicultural? Someone got sold a bill of goods here.

And the less said about Kinja the better. Hoo boy.

It was infuriating, though, to plan my mustache care around the Kent 73mm, only to get there and find them grooming a Wookiee instead.

They ruined my favorite Minutemen album.

You have to imagine he has a Nixon-style enemies list. It would be an honor to be on it.

How about Rush's still beating hearts?

Then I'm going to bury you all.

Yes, and Randy Newman is the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young.

I'm happy with the deal.

I'll be right back.

There's always Tom Waits, the Crawling Chaos.

Surprise me.

Then bring me the heads of Hall and Oates.

They're just saying June.

Dear God,

Victrolas, pah!
*changes wax cylinder*

I probably wouldn't boast about finding Ho-Ho hot, but you know…

My wife calls that place Black Anus. She is not wrong.

Yeah, I know. This is just one of those weird sore spots for me. I think we all have a couple of things that cross some completely personal line, and this crosses mine.