Oh gods, do you own a beagle?

I have two legit dealbreakers: racists, and people who hate dogs. If I am dating a person who turns out to be either of these things, I nope the fuck out.

My ex-husband and I did Sterling and Mallory Archer one year because it was hilarious.

Bullshit. This is purely anecdotal, but when I started online dating (I'm 29) the guys that pursued me the most were in the 24-27 age range. I even thought it was weird - dude, I'm older and perilously close to the dreaded 3-0, why the fuck are you messaging me? Don't you know I'm going to die like, any day now? …

AND saved. Thank you!

I don't even care. Bring it.

I want there to be a point in my life where I can say "taketh me right noweth" legitimately.

Thank you for this.

I shall take the bad with the good ;).

The fucking Winchester brothers.

Gods, I remember one of my former coworkers freaking out because she didn't know there was more than one hole up there. And when we asked her "well, why do you think you can pee with a tampon in?" she freaked out that we were all disgusting for not taking our tampons out every single time we had to pee.

FINALLY, something God and I have in common.

6'8? Dear lord!

Please tell me this guy is never, ever, ever getting his dog back. Or any dog ever.

Seriously, if I could legally smoke pot to take care of my anxiety, I would. It's a better option than some of the other ones out there.

Nah, I passed no judgment for him smoking and think it should be legal (it's not in my state). He was just weird and wanted to quit because I didn't smoke.

Oh, most definitely. I just didn't realize how much pot could affect someone's mood until I experienced that (I don't smoke). It was a total 180.

Y'know, I dated a guy who was super awesome when he was stoned 24/7. Then he quit because I didn't smoke and became a moody, over-emotional asshole. He later told me that moody was pretty much his default setting and that his family generally agreed that he should just be stoned all the time to mellow him out. So…

Once upon a time I worked for a big coffee chain. One of the company's philosophies was that our individual stores should get involved in the community around us, so some stores would do fundraisers and participate in local events.

THAT'S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM.