Why are your "facts" more important than peoples' "emotions"?

Do you even Capitalism bro?

I'd frottage a bro.

Because, Red States and Brexit.

Wait. What? We're surprised Google is a culture of capitalist dickwads?

Does Google still have the best cafeteria and the cleanest bathrooms, though?

"When rumors surfaced about Hannity, they didn't suspend him and it ultimately turned about to be nothing."

Ha ha ha. Another one.

Pearl Jam isn't cool either, but Eddie Vedder still is.

Sure. Because it's not at all possible that Arcade Fire sucks now.

I dunno. What do you think about Counting Crows?

My cool is contradicted by my un-cool.

Oh, Christ, they're not comparable to The Rolling Stones.

Well, there is the "they haven't made a song that sounded different from the last song they made since…" hate.

Eh. All the posturing and "We love ELO and Rush"-ering is laughable.

Fans go, "Wha? Golly."

Last-minute, two days before.

Yet. The foo keeps piling up.

Oh, guys. Quit trying so hard. You'll never be Bad Company, let alone Led Zeppelin.

We’re at a very weird, unsettling point in modern journalism, when we can look at a conspiracy-prone ideologue like Sean Hannity and think, "Well, at least he keeps his dick in his pants."