♪ Scrambled eggs
All my troubles something something far away
Now it looks la la-la la de dah
Side of ham
I believe in scrambled eggs ♪

"I was tode 'ere'd be no bloody math!" - Sir Paul McCartney

It's "Hump Day." Headline's tired. Wants to wrap it up and go get a beer after work. Leave headline alone.

It's probably due to "Silly Love Songs."

I took that exchange as playful sarcasm, but your version is somehow more charming.

He sounds lovely. Nice interview.

My mother is 83, a converted Republican, and if Trump is mentioned around her, she hangs her head and sighs.

We just keep seeing so much of that moderating Jarvanka influence at work, don't we?

Right? And Rocket, the bonobo in WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES, is loyal and self-sacrificing.

Not everyone. But you, certainly.

No. You're THE PUPPET.

Crawl off and die. You're using oxygen that could be used instead by a human being.

The new Republican catch-phrase…"Like his policies, dislike his style" has been coined to excuse this very thing.

So, the whole "we fight to protect your way of life" thing…Irony or just Fake News?

[Redacted. Colbert got in trouble for just that sort of joke.]

Rick Perry, 210 strapping pounds…of hair pomade.

American Exceptionalism, Ladies and Gentlemen. Please remember to tip your wait-staff. Thank you and goodnight.

Many of those things aren't that "public" at all, and all of them reveal a personal connection to Dave. Not really trying to argue pedantically with you, but it's not like he's working his publicist, going on press tours or red-carpeting superhero movies, which is kind of what I think of when I think "celebrity…

Hipsters groom theirs.

Adam Egotta eat.