I'm pretty sure this was Van Gogh's sole motivation in painting Starry Nights.

"My goal was to make something that somebody could hang on their dorm room wall and say, wow, Shakespeare can be really cool. It can be something I want to see."

Reading the greys & finding Kardashian hate to be infinitely more boring than the Kardashians.

I am working at the liquor store right now, laughing hysterically. YES!!!

I generally feel kind of cute after crying. A little bit of redness makes my eyes look really green, and my eyelashes look all long and dark. Shit, I should cry more often. Take THAT, marketers. Also, I would've said, "Right before my period." I can't believe that's not on there.

great comment

Aw, I love Chianti, he's so solid; he changes diapers, does dishes and gives great oral. In my house, mom gets all wet over Sancerre. I tried to explain he came out of the closet and is now happily married to an interior designer from San Francisco, but she just won't get over him.

I'm dying...this is so spot on for my life..my mom is totally intimidated by my boyfriends old school Italian parents, who are all about the Barolo.

So then you don't, and end up having a wild night of passion. You loved it, he loved it, and for the first time ever, he's actually decided to call a girl back. You find your casual, no-strings hook-ups have somehow morphed into a semi-functional relationship, to the point where Dirty Martini is the only man you can…

This year I got a not-sexy halloween costume. I am so excited y'all you have no idea:

You need to bring home a Barolo. Then both she and your dad will accuse you of "trying to marry up" as they futilely try to mask their creeping anxiety at the possibility of being judged by your future in-laws.

grappa is walter white.

sounds like my mom *sobs*

I don't even know what this means but I'm a Jameson rocks girl and I think I like it. But not bros.

This is frighteningly accurate.

Long Island Iced Teas are the gay friend who says they'll be your wingman for the night, then leaves you hugging a toilet while he hooks up with someone you thought you were flirting with.

Cheap Candian wiskey is that guy who says he's going to come over and rehang that door for you but never does.

Franzia = Ted Cruz.

Pro-Eagleton here, they need to build that fence again.

And she was the villain on Gossip Girl!