The headline, like the previous Jez one “Bobby Brown Performs, Forgets Lyrics, While Bobbi Kristina In Hospice” makes it seem as if he’s not supposed to be doing those things while she’s dying. There is a definite negative tone, as if the man is supposed to constantly be at her bedside on a death watch.

Who takes a selfie stick in the sea? I dislike this story. Damn kids and their magic sticks.

Young millennials make me feel like a freak for not constantly photographing myself. And for giving no fucks about social media. I’m doing life wrong!

I originally read this as she survived but also killed her husband. O.o

Your first mistake is booking with Frontier.

I admit that the way Jared Leto handles the Joker is great as it reminds me of Heath Ledger’s version in the way he talks. However, the tattoos are meh as if the rumors are true in which Leto is playing the DKR Joker. That version of the Joker is too much of a metrosexual to get tattoos on his forehead.

Not gonna lie that last shot of his Joker was pretty damn cool.

I almost exclusively talk to my mom in the car 1) so my husband doesn’t have to listen to me chat with my mom all the time about a combination of nothing/my life/him and 2) because I have negative cell phone reception in my house so otherwise I wouldn’t talk to her at all.

Dear Unwitting,

The logistics behind this is really insane when you think about it. It makes sense once you understand but I never would have given the sun’s gravitational field a 2nd thought.

"How Did We Get to Pluto So Fast?"

Prior to cell phones, nobody ever hunched over for hours while looking at an object, gripping it with their thumbs.

Why are we continuing to teach them how to do things? When the end comes and a raccoon steals your bike and you’re left at the side of the road with the zombies/four horsemen, you’re going to be mad you taught her that.

And at the end, Melanie is all “Where’s my treat? I performed for you. WHERES MY GODDAMN TREAT?!?!” I love Melanie.

Things I would prefer BEFORE I prefer thinner Oreos:

Every time I think we reached the final pit of tragedy in this story, there seems to be yet another layer.

I love me some 90s Bobby Brown. But I can’t imagine seeing him in concert at this moment in his life. Its too upsetting.

Apparently, the lockers aren’t being used anymore.

I watched Veep, ate a sleeve of saltines, and had some caramel almond praline ice cream.