To be perfectly honest, your pity comment reads a bit condescending. :)

A boss is the insulator between you and the higher-ups. If the team fails to deliver on an important project on time the boss should take responsibility. The boss shouldn't be offering your head on a silver platter as the excuse to why something wasn't done. The boss should speak to you privately if you're the problem…

My favorite cold call I've heard is:

I stopped using Seagate when I first heard of problems, mind you I was burned by WD when they removed the TLER setting on their drives (after I read an article stating how wonderful WD Blacks were for RAID). Seagate use to offer quieter hard drives with better failure rates than WD. It also looks like I've been…

It's an awfully long phone call with the Grandparents to get them to go to LogMeIn and download the application and then read off the number and request desktop control.

The cloned eye thing is just lazy. Looks like uncanny valley to me.

Acceptance.

My next keyboard is going to be washable. No matter how many times I vacuum or wipe my keyboard, it never feels clean enough: especially after seeing some of the disasters other people use as keyboards.

Take melatonin 1-1.5 hours before bed. Anywhere from 1.5-12mg is fine, just make sure to avoid light sources, especially blue light. Start at the lower end of the dose and ramp up if needed. (I talk more about melatonin and its benefits for sleep/health in this article.)

They need FAIL stickers handed out to them.

Yeah do it, I'd love to see a chromebook get infected.

Tell him the ol' "sounds like a PEBKAC error."

That would be one hell of a case mod.

Toshiba is on my no-buy-list because they do not offer even the most basic of support.

It makes you wonder where your company is placing their ad space on the internet or newspaper.

Tell them to call the plumber next time.

It's not the fan, see a brain and ear specialist.

And something like siteadvisor.

"Security!"

More like gas.