because the celery, in this scenario, is a liquid.

Counterpoint: I do want to be touched by Keanu Reeves.

It gives me extra satisfaction that Bloomberg is wealthier than Trump, because I know that must drive Trump nuts.

While everyone is Googling Jeff Koons, I’d like to express my ongoing glee at the neverending new descriptions of Trump. I want to believe there’s a big whiteboard where The Slot writers keep track of which scrotum comparisons have been used and brainstorm new ones.

Whats taking so long to impeach 45? Seriously.

No need to even read the article. OF COURSE THEY DID.