I would rather be cremated.

The truck driver was found to be playing Pokemon Go.

He was buffered by Adam Corolla, who, as a comedian, had a better sense of how far you could push, and also was better able to take front and center to take the hit for saying something dumb. I don’t know if Drew got worse as he got popular, or if it was always his craving to get attention, but one of his signature…

“Small but significant”

Like all Russian things, my heart is heavy with the sadness of it, but at the same time, I turn to my dog, and say “You are weak and useless american dog. You stare at squirrels and bark only at people you know. Look at these dogs—they have job. Get Job, dog.”

Yarr, Corporate software production methods be slavery! We be settlin in North Carolina, and starting an off the grid co-op. Anne Bonny be as shirtless as she is ruthless.

Any time isn’t very clear; I mean ‘whenever a verdict is delivered’, and in favor of acquittal for criminal cases, so it’s more of a veto on finding someone guilty, for that. But this is a civil case, and for that, the judge can find anything provided s/he says ‘the evidence makes it so that there’s no other way to…

Thanks for introducing me to Glove and Boots. I need to absorb my information through muppets for the most part.

Yeah. The purpose of a jury is to brow beat someone into accepting the judgment, not render a good one.

Sombra is Reaper’s mom. It’s obvious she’s abusive.

I always read these signs as being similar to ‘student driver’

In practice there is no oversight. You would have to take them to court, provide a bunch of evidence that you’re allowed to park wherever it was, and likely wouldn’t ever collect your money back.

Or brown lexus wagon. Or brown infiniti wagon. Or whatever. This guy is boring.

Descartes didn’t go far enough.

He isn’t an anything. He’ll turn whichever way gets him press. I’d say ‘change his mind’ but that would imply a part of the process that doesn’t exist.

It’s about the bathroom that is our ethics management.

I’d still let him see my burning bush and smash my ten commandments in anger when he saw my followers worshipping a golden calf. If you know what I mean.

This heavy handed joke turns me off.

Google thinks that means Marine Corps Instructor of Water Survival, so I have an image of every Indian soldier carrying around a marine in swim trunks now.

They used to have a pretty significant small arms manufacturing base because they were a cornerstone of Great Britain’s power at one point. In the time since, the government has come to have a monopoly over the few dozen manufacturers left in the country (they only let olympians import firearms). Like all monopolies…