“Slashed my knee while burning a nosy idiot to death at a sauna in Tijuana”

This is a great reminder for everyone. Medical people should take heed of this, too. Sometimes you forget to turn it off. Asking about these things is inappropriate in social settings. ESPECIALLY scars. ESPECIALLY in places where someone is exposed. Keep your medical inquiries to the exam room.

Tell her if she loves your scar so much you’d be willing to give her one twice as long anywhere she wants it. Then do the dragging the thumb across your neck thing for good measure.

First of all, this woman doesn’t understand her own damn religion, because by their own standards, the Pope is going straight to hell for being and idolater, so.

“Yes we’ve got trouble. Trouble in Bourneville Village. Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with B and it stands for Booze.”

Oh, no! People having carefree fun at a super serious sporting event! Didn’t they get the memo that only male-sanctioned behavior at sporting events is acceptable?

I am the first person to hate on college/university Greek life culture, but this is just straight up mean-spirited.

Yeah, well baseball is duller than pig shit. What else is there to do?

I shouldn’t find that as funny as I do. Like this one:

Oh, okay then. Here goes.

i google image searched “mrsa.” i clicked on the “mrsa maggots” suggestion.

Together, Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart formed the couple of one of modern Hollywood’s most loathesome franchises.

Not inlcuding foreplay, I generally think the sweet spot is 12 minutes. Not too short that I can’t get off, but 30 minutes is too long. Also, if I come first, I need things to wrap up fast. I’m not alone in that, right? After orgasm, it’s OVER for me.

I had that man this summer. I couldn’t deal with him as a person anymore, but as a sex partner I will miss him until the day I die.

Women wanted eight more minutes of foreplay and seven more minutes of intercourse

No one’s going to see this since I’m in the grays, but it sucks that so many SNS posts are grey. It’s not very “social,” and there are so many “gray people” posting who need help and advice. :(

You seeing shades of premeditation in this picture too?

From the AP: “She had recently told friends she had grown afraid of her husband because they had been fighting so much.”

But she didn’t say a GOT.DAMN THING about him. Pointedly. What is there possibly to QQ about.

Between this and nyancar, I think I might be #TeamDeadmau5?