I believe that is called Break-Up Classic?

TWIST! Well played, Cocopop. :)

after getting dumped in high school, i came home in tears and announced that i was going to slash his tires. i dramatically asked my mom where the box cutter was and she gave me a big hug and said “no, sweetie. what you want is a hammer and a screw driver.”

NYE 2003: Long story short, I saw my long-term boyfriend making out with my “friend” (LIKE TWO HOURS BEFORE THE BALL DROPPED so there was no excuse). I screamed at him but didn’t bother with her because I didn’t want her to know she could get to me like that (she was SUCH a pathetic attention whore who lived for shit…

Isn’t 5 a little young to start policing a girls body? I think you're perfectly right to be mad.

If they had said nothing, the media would speculate they disapproved of Bruce. Get your head out of your ass.

I’m with him. I’m sick of the way fruity guys dress all fruity these days. We should be more manly and dress like construction workers, police officers, bikers, cowboys or even Indian chiefs.

Because you resell target collections once a year you make enough money to support yourself..? I’m not exactly buying it.

Thanks, but I’m just about done taking political advice from dead white guys.

Age 21, standing on the sidewalk after getting pulled over for suspected drunk driving.

I just remembered a great one! Last month, my friend - who is the chillest, least confrontational, most mild-mannered person in the whole world - was visiting Israel and he ran into some German lady who was like, “Why can’t there just be peace?” My friend was all, “Yeah, totally” (my friend and I are both Jewish but…

I've been married for a little over a month now, and I still have difficulty getting the word "husband" out when referring to my better half.

A spider gets killed for no good reason, and yet it’s the asshole?!

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Well, aren’t YOU special.

Now that there's a lot of comments on this article I can confess to something and hopefully not get yelled at by commenters I like (I know it's all in good fun).
When it comes down to netflix vs sex, I'm going to vote for netflix.
I am awful.

A good friend of mine decided to make a late night stop at McDonald's on his way home to pick up three chocolate chip cookies. As he pulled out of the parking lot he took a bite from the first cookie and discovered that they weren't soft and warm like he liked them. He had the genius idea that he could use his car's…

"My hamster was scared."

Ariana Grande IRL