I got a lot of flack for shitting all over Nissan unprompted earlier this year (I think the exact phrase I used was “Nissan can eat a dick”).

Q :

I HAVE SYMMETRICAL AWD™ I AM UNSTOPPABLE BITCHES!!!

but the McLaren F1 had a manual transmission.

I wonder upon being robbed if the train driver was like “get mi-ata here”.*

Because minivans exist?

out of sheer jalopism you should refuse to help anyone buy a crossover ever.

they really do need to figure out some kind of urine management system

He was probably on PCP. Broke every bone in his hand and wouldn’t feel it for hours.

...that is the look of a woman who just found the missing Mag-Lite between the couch cushions by sitting down...

“Overpay,” not “create that which no longer exists.”

Texas Man is like the Special Forces version of Florida Man. You don’t see him nearly as often, but when he shows up, the destruction is far greater.

A few years ago, with kiddo #2 on the way, we were looking to replace my wife’s Mazda 3 with something big enough that all four of us could fit in. Unsolicited, my wife’s friend starts telling us we should buy a Dodge Journey. I did my best to not let me face give away the judgement I was judging, and managed to…

Not to me, but by me.

you’d destroy the value if you restored it.

The Association of Inflatable Flailing Arm Tube Men would like to see this senseless violence against inflatable, temporary peoples ended. For far too long, our kind have endured needless violence, resulting in many of our brothers and sisters being deflated and discarded. We will continue our work for the equal…

Of course I get the dumb car thieves.