It’s a good question. Imagine they’re dead for a week and see where that leaves you. Works when contemplating cutting anyone from your life, not just parents.

Thank you for this awesome article. Mother-focused writing is typically either reverential or the opposite. This pretty objectively posits that some mothers just don’t cut it. Mine should not have had children. Or she should have adopted kids after they reached puberty. She was a horrid physically and mentally abusive…

I knew it wouldn’t be long before the gloves would come off and reports of Kanye’s small and/or misshapen penis and/or existence of ghostwriter would drop.

Wow, settled it like gentlemen.

NEVER let people forget your birthday. Send out subtle reminders otherwise you’ll both feel terrible when they inevitably forget. People have a lot on their minds and it’s a lot to ask that they remember every little special day. My Dad used to forget mine because it’s close to a major holiday, so I’d just remind him…

WHY would the groom call on 5 men when his bride has no attendants? Sounds like a dick move for sure!

You’re asking for trouble if you knowingly put two people who hate each other into a stressful situation where they will be competing to show which is the more dear to you. Sounds like a potential reality show.

having known people who work at treatment plants

I had no bridesmaids or attendants and he had no groomsmen. No flower girl, ring bearer, maid of honor, dog running down the aisle or videographer. We also had no pictures because we didn’t want to have to deal with a photographer getting in the way of the important thing: each other.

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Maybe if it wasn’t horse hair?

I am not down at all with you calling people mentally ill because they are trans.

I wonder if the McDonoughs were illegal immigrants themselves. Doesn't sound like any Native American name I've come across. Talk about Thug Nation!

If he was prone to wearing the boots with the plaid shorts, the drowning in the tub was justified.

You win all the cookies for that one reveal, good god.

Not surprising for a company that has, at last count, 7 African Americans, 1 woman in the c-suite (HR natch) and won't release its diversity stats. Gawker media, you're always looking for a story, that one writes itself.

I don’t care that I’m in the minority here but why should people give me cash because I’ve chosen to get married? I think having a registry is nice since it takes the guess work out of it for those who CHOOSE to give a gift but a gift shouldn’t be expected. What’s with the entitlement, people? I’ve been to a potluck…

Yelled it out the window.

Fuck this noise (pun intended). I had neighbors like this. Everyone loves a nice bone, but don’t nobody want to be awakened by the bark! So I did what I had to do which was loudly mimic her screams and then politely tell him that she was faking it. Did the trick real quick.

2 questions for y’all: how bad must the dirt be that they can hold it over him for so long? Multiple men have already publicly stated that he sexually assaulted them, so run of the mill gay sex can’t be all they’ve got. Question 2) what procedure makes someone’s face look like Madame Toussaud moulded it?