Idea: You and me run a scam. We pretend to get married and require all guests to leave $100 gift cards. The perfect crime.

My first thought was Lena Dunham.

Fun fact, in WWII Ustinov was Batman (like an army valet) to David Niven, who plays Poirot’s sorta “assistant” in Death on the Nile. David Niven was a Colonel in the British Army (and potentially some kind of special-forces badass). By some accounts Ustinov was assigned to Niven so they could work together as actors…

Haven’t seen John Malkovich as Poirot, but I can’t imagine anyone other than Suchet in the role now.

I’d rather watch Branagh’s Orient Express another ten times through than sit through another Malkovich Poirot.

Counterpoint: 

Gary Oldman looks nothing like Winston Churchill. Wore fat suit and heavy makeup. Won Oscar.

Albert Finney was pretty great too.

No idea I refuse to watch it. It was bad enough suffering through Branagh’s Murder on the Orient Express

What was that Malkovich thing? Was it a three part movie? Is it coming back? Are there more episodes? What was the point? What was that accent? Why did they cast him?

I always have stars for David Suchet who is the only true Hercule Poirot. John Malkovich can f*ck right off

Never say never to fat-suits! I am just nearing the end of the Hercule Poirot series, and only just noticed that David Suchet wore a fatsuit throughout the years. It’s so well done.

Unless you’re Christian Bale...

Yes! It was so much about her confidence and the way she presented herself. I’m struck by the relatively long pauses between her declarative sentences (to sound authoritative, I assume). 

Yea it’s crazy! I mean she was a sophomore. That’s basically a high school student. You’re lucky if they get your lunch order right. Like yea - Gates, Zuckerberg, Jobs all exist. But encountering someone like that is so fucking rare. It’s like finding a lottery ticket. Sure, people buy lottery tickets all the time.…

I have a naturally high pitched voice, and when I get myself worked up it gets higher and higher until I have to pause and reset because only dogs can hear it. Then I have my professional voice. It’s a little slower and slightly deeper than my natural voice, which is high southern valley girl. My daughter mocks me…

Yea the doc doesn’t do anything to take away from her ‘spooky eyes’ thing....including these tight face shots where she is doing her pitches in a white room.
You can literally see the entirety of the lights refracting in those gigantic eyeballs of hers like she is some kind of crazed real life anime or that fucking…

I listened to all of The Dropout and just finished the documentary. I preferred the podcast. Every time she was on screen in the doc, I had to look away. She’s fucking creepy. She would probably stab someone with that blank look her face and then lie about how they ran into the knife. All with that fake, deadpan bro…

Shortly after Finding Neverland came out P.Y.T. was played as background music at a restaurant. You think about that song a lot differently now than you did in the 80's.

“I don’t want you to get sticked or nothing.”