OK... In sixth grade my mother stole a bunch of meth from, for real, the Hells Angels and blamed me. One of them phoned the house in the morning before school and threatened to rape me to death. Classy. As an eleven year old boy, I had no idea what rape or meth was, so I thought it was a prank phone call. I walked to…

A few years ago we took my husbands nephew up The Oregon Zoo for the day. I was wandering around taking photos when I bumped into Corin Tucker, from Sleater-Kinney. Starstruck I desperately tried to not piss myself in front of her. I ran to the bathroom and was peeing when out of nowhere Patton Oswalt walked in and…