God I love Cookie_Monster whenever you show up. Jesus this was perfection; thank you

I write to you from the future. Oh, you have no idea. I grieve for your lost innocence.

I write to you from the future. Oh, you have no idea. I grieve for your lost innocence.

At 47, I've completely "turned" and had to be thrown out. It's TRUE!

At 47, I've completely "turned" and had to be thrown out. It's TRUE!

Also: my husband is tall, slim, young, and gorgeous. Im a chubby,
middle-aged troll. Yet here we find ourselves. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And the ûber-hot women Tony consistently and easily hooks up with seem a realistic probability?

"There was no abundant intentionality in me getting out the suitcase!"

If I had a nickel for every time I've heard THAT

Jesus! I'm 47 with three kids. (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

This forty-something woman, I guess, is even more fortunate to have landed my twenty-something husband. Go, me! I'm also a haggard cow!

First time ive ever down-voted a comment.

Ooooo! Good catch

Also, smartly-observed point and thank you, LRC

#1 for "coconut-related-". Shit funny yo

I kinda luv huuuhhhh(r)

It's a glide that evokes Darth Vader-like menace, while also being fucking hilarious.

You mean, "Jamie Lynn Sigler gets a blistering case of anorexia and endures a long, traumatic recovery process," right?

As a fat woman with a (really entirely excessively) good-looking husband, I'm the exception that proves the rule.

Painful Truth from the Fuuuuuture