I feel bad for that kid... because everything is all down hill from there.

What, exactly, is this guy a doctor of?

Does the goat have to be alive?

The extra O will be brown and represents the open, sore assholes of all competitors

So they’ll win the distance running events in 20 years. What’s not to like?

So this was, effectively, Making a Murderer in written form?

Who?

Go a little south of Philly to Baltimore and learn that Jawn is just how we say John, hon.

I’m not trying to ruin Dali, but fuck, the melty cheese effect in his paintings is now totally linked to fucking Ted Cruz’s face for me

South Dakota has the Internet? On computers?

I had no idea South Dakota had indoor plumbing

Go fuck yourself

There’s nothing better than hocking a loogie into a clean sink and then blasting it with water, watching it cling for dear life before finally getting swept away.

How dare you talk to someone who might vote for Hillary! The rest of the Gawker editors will not be amused!

What a coincidence! I love being on the receiving end AND baking cakes

My reaction was simply: “But, of course, he did.”

He was probably that asshole who sat 2 inches from the TV with the gun while playing the game.

I respect your viewpoint, but I will not rise to that occasion. I want to know. Because I want to tell everyone I know. Some may call me an asshole... and I’m OK with that. But I can sleep easy knowing that I’ll never be as big of an asshole as Cruz.

Then you desperately need one, don't have one, borrow it from a girlfriend and end up with the lip herp.

Andy Kaufman faked his death and is playing the long con