Unlike his arm...

You could also play the flipside to that: If they knew (and I'm certain league knows about temperature and pressure) the temp was going to be such a differential, that they overinflate so that the balls are at the appropriate pressure come game time.

So avoid all car fruit.

... and heavier... it's called the William Shatner Affect. You don't look older if get redder and fill out those wrinkles with a little more chub.

Aren't you assuming that the umpire/refs and ball boys/whatever give the ball a Charmin Squeeze when they pick the ball up or gently toss it to another person? I suspect that the level of deflation of the ball would only be noticeable by players who grip it (giggity) more tightly during play.

Try harder.

My parents still do not own a high-definition television, which means that I gotta rough it with standard def for two of the biggest games of the year. This is obviously the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of human civilization...

Jesus Christ... Who gives a shit about the Super Bowl, we need the Abnormal Head Bowl show down of the century: Elway vs. Manning.

No. Teddy Roosevelt actually ran for a third term in office after four years off the job and got crushed in the election.

"People don't understand how freakish of an athlete he was" when everyone has known for a very long time how freakish of an athlete herpes-delivery-system he was.

Those are all great topics, and things I think about as I don't iron, don't properly color-coordinate my work clothes, and do a shitty job tying my tie... but, I think, what The Adequate Man needs to do is figure out how we can get those things done with the minimum amount of effort.

The Adequate Man prefers a fitting for his golf cart, not his clubs.

Now that's the American Way!

Look. I'll follow this new blog if it promises to just have simple posts that say "Do you really need that Big Mac today, fatty?"

He's that insufferable guy that always says "WE ARE ALL _________S NOW" after every suitable tragedy, right?

The only thing getting pimped out is Mike Huckabee's ever-growing double-chin.

That's not true. You can turn out to be one of those weirdos who wipes standing up.

"I think a lot of guys bum smokes in a misguided attempt to make friends and/or hit on women."

Sounds about right... They often have to remind themselves.

Why are these buttoned? Totally ruined the fantasy.