Whaaaa..... No Peter Angelos?

If I remember right, his original knee injury was in a game against the Ravens. I think it was Ngata that took him down... he should have never been allowed to come back - brace or no brace - as quickly as he did. I'm pretty sure theres video on youtube of that hit... knees don't bend that way! That should have really…

How old is too old to wear a hat backwards? I'm 43, and sometimes I catch myself

According to CBS SF Bay Area, the "obscene gesture" was putting the microphone down his pants and rubbing it on his crotch.

In such situations, I rode my bike to the closest school with a sports field or/and playground, where I'd know I'd likely be alone. Then I'd rub one out, letting it fly in the sand pits or over home plate. Yeah, home plate. Brush that up, weekend umpire dude/dad. I'm a terrible person.

"A storied masturbatory career" ... What a great title for a memoir

I was right with you until you said your grandmothers house. I'm not saying I didnt, but I'd feel hellish for admitting it.

Ah, yes, the patented Downward Tug.

Puppies come in five thousand different breeds. They're a terrible unit of measurement.

I have a dream. A dream of a day when we don't have to drown retarded kittens like this in the river. I dream of the day when educated adults choose to abort such aberrations of nature.

It's a goddamned cook.

At the wonderful age of 10, and my first time as an altar boy at the local Catholic Church, I, standing off to the side of the alter, projectile vomited all over myself and the several steps leading up to where the priest was reading from his book. My mom and grandmother could do nothing but look on as it just kept…

We're sure he isn't a Browns player?

Well, you list Country last... but what about Western? (derp)

"But in reality our first target is going to be partial replacement of the organ."

Are we sure it's Joba and not Jaba?

That's a very nonchalant look. Or supreme confidence in everything in life.

Hey guys, look at how diverse our white people are! Sure, we may tear gas our blacks into oblivion … but how about these Bosnians?! You don't see New Orleans rocking as many Bosnians. No tarhana soup for those poor jobless fuckers! You should see Bosnians roll up a battery by hand.

Like you, I knew I was different early on. As a shy kid, I wasn't the kid was obviously gay to others that didn't really know me. But, at home, I often preferred to play with girls in the neighborhood as much as I did with boys. I felt little distinction between combing a doll's hair and then raising home to play with…