thought-heave. i'm using that. thank you.

"ME NEXT, YEAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Even Gloria wouldn't touch this? Wow.

No... but it does encourage other shitty writers to write more shitty books.

WTF is this thing?

FEED ME

Had no idea Snoop was a Steelers fan. Wonder why he is.

I feel there's more to Tom's story about Kurt Warner.

$586.2... what? I need to know! How much is this COMPLETE CREMATION? Is it $586.21 or $586.29... because if it's $586.29, you can get a better deal at Cain's Funeral Services.

Hey. If this was at the Panera in Dupont Circle, then you should update the beginning of the story to not say DC-area but simply DC. Don't go giving the impression that this happened in MD or VA. Just sayin...

I don't know about boxers, but briefs can be handy because that shitty mesh liner they put in men's swimsuits chafe. The thin elastic bands chafe between your thighs and man bits. And for those of us that are circumcised, the mesh chafes the important end part of the more important man piece.

"HAHAHA I know; I can't believe I'm famous either!"

The Mason-Dixon line is a farce. It separates Maryland and Pennsylvania... and Maryland, by the time of the Civil War, and certain, absolutely since then is decidedly NOT the South. That shit begins on the other side of the Potomac River.

"In Canada, people apologize for things that require no apology. For example, when an elevator door begins to close and someone presses the button to get in, they apologize to the people in the elevator for delaying them literally two seconds."

Is this pre-meth fat tom sizemore?

And how do i make my moobs shrink? Dammit, we need answers to the important questions!

So, can we stop with the pretense that Kinja is going to be some be-all/end-all commenting system that Denton will be able to sell off for millions in the future?

What's needed here, it seems, is some sort of absorbent cotton or paper strip that fits around the thong string, thereby protecting it from the ravages of a dirty bottom.

Poop String was my backup username for kinja.

This is being misinterpreted.