Naw, Tuesday mornings makes sense from the perspective that all the weekend sexy times are then two days in the past, and things are beginning to build up.

uh yeah; because Snyder doesn't have a team of fuckwit lawyers working for him, right? Oh no, you say, he must be listening to and reading everything himself, right? Uh, no. There's probably a good chance Dan never heard of the Washington City Paper until he was told about it and advised he should sue. Get a fucking…

Isn't this, uh, Bricken's territory?

This one reads to me as: Woman becomes a man becomes a dude in the Star Trek The Next Generation short skirt uniform becomes Professor X.

My first semester at UMD, living on campus, and just weeks into things, I'm awoken - for the first time, but certainly not the last - to my roommate, Rob's, late night phonesex sessions with his girlfriend... in Texas.

that's not fat... it's bloating from the drink

I'm so starring this so I can find it later when I'm baked at home.

Is it 2012 again? The movement doesn't need her bandwagoning help.

Here's another fun game to play with the pic: spot a minority. I see four.

That's certainly one way to get that new hipsterish dick-to-asshole piercing.

I wish the police report was as colorful as you are. Wang. Pork sword. Love it.

He Second Amendmented his own penis.

yes please.

So if you have a child in desperate need of shitting, I strongly suggest you ask your pediatrician if you can use Miralax instead.

I have a condo not far from the cemetery; it's a great place to go for a walk. The area with the mausoleums is fascinating...

For some reason this article made me horny for the guy in the next stall.

"So lonely. I'd kill myself after a year of being awake 100 percent of the time."

Watch his foot... he did throw it where his toes were (originally) pointed. Just saying... BWHAHAHAHAHA also. Thank fuck that wasn't a grenade.

I typically turn it around and answer "Depends. Will Jesus save me 15% in 15 minutes on my car insurance? "