Team Seagull.

“cow Logan’s Run...”

Who, amongst us modern philosophical thinkers (which is everyone on the fucking Internet), can claim to honestly be NOT “ vain, lazy, and pompous”?

He was never Cannes Lionized (I know where the exit is.).

“prodigious talent” is right. What an acting presence.

“chalking the murders...”—good one.

I like you Harron, great name, good writing. I don’t understand what your gender is and I don’t give a shit. I’m very happily in love with a wonderful woman and would probably kill myself if she left me. But I got leftover love for you and Emily Alford, my favorite Jez bloggers. I know, fuck me, etc. Addn: I used to…

BOO. FUCKING. HOO.

I like shopping stories.

Genova brand yellowfin tuna in olive oil + lemon juice. Genova makes other tuna brands taste like fish shit.

“Mr. Peanut was reincarnated as a smaller peanut.”

I have had several pet wild squirrels and, not once, have I been bitten or scratched. Also, squirrels happen to be very sly Texas Hold’em players.

+1 (for you, not the men).

“Kelly Loeffler claims the Georgia Senator knows what it’s like “waiting on that paycheck,” in reference to a time she had to wait for her Aspen chalet to sell before purchasing a Beaver Creek penthouse, I’m assuming.”

BOTH.

A great art director/designer. And I know what the fuck I’m talking about, I’ve worked with some very good ones. Good luck Jim, you talented FUCK.

I’m drinking chartreuse on ice as I read this. Also, I’m happily married so back the fuck off.

Birds, Lizards, and Dinosaurs are/were all AWESOME. (Especially Lizards: They are ridic cute and do push-ups to impress other lizards and humans or whoever is watching.) You just hate nature, BOOKWORM.

Please. CB-Fucking-GB.

“Fuck your ugly statues. I hope they all get torn down, melted, and re-made into monuments to RuPaul’s Drag Race winners, the cast of Steel Magnolias, and dead-before-their-time Instagram cats.” Thank you again.