Me: violate me with that scorpion tail, daddy

It’s really shocking how vapid many conservative media figures are. I subconsciously assume that people like Michelle Malkin, Jesse Waters, Ben Shapiro, etc must have something to say given how popular they are.

“Needs more edging.”

Remember the fuckwits that were poo-poohing Rapinoe’s comments on visiting Biff because “they’re not gonna win so it won’t matter anyway.”? Good times.

They need stronger dykes. I kid, I kid

Sure, says triathlon right there!  

Those of us over 30 all saw Terminator 2.

I’ve never been to LA, and even I know this.

No one ever said switching to triathlons was easy.  RIP

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

Not sure anything is ever found alive in the LA river. 

CUSTOMER: “Excuse me, waiter, but what is the Soup du Jour?”

Excellent writeup, but no way Stoneface Quintana wins. He’s failed to deliver at the tour for *years.*

Only Republicans, son, only Republicans, the real supporters of the red WHITE and blue.

Your first warning sign should’ve been that he thinks the Earth is only a few thousand years old.

HEY NOW: We don’t deny climate change. We just believe that billions of humans emitting trillions of tons to CO and other greenhouse gasses not only has zero effects on the planet God runs, it’s a LIBERAL PLOT TO TAKE OUR GUNS.

I don’t know how they even parse what’s going on here. There are multiple replies to that tweet saying Ross should be fired or locked up for treason or some such nonsense. It’s pretty clear that a big chunk of them would be perfectly happy with a Trump dictatorship, cheering it on while celebrating our “freedom” and…

No clutch pedal; no buy.

The plane should be a 737-MAX.

My guess is that, being Canadian, they were too polite to wake a sleeping passenger.