We are living in the darkest timeline, therefore the Liberty Flames are going to the fucking Final Four.

There's a reason people don't say "hung like an anteater."

Obligatory:

And the least common mascot takes down the most common... And the March continued.

Actually the switch panel is in the correct orientation. The rest of the car is backwards.

Before Poka Yoke was the idea that the UAW need the assembly to so easy that the parts would be thrown into a paper bag, shaken and they’d assemble themselves.  This from an old automotive engineer...

Looks okay to me.

A couple more years with Elway running the football side, and the team will be so cheap that the Trump Organization could afford it.

Shit, he’s gonna use all this money and goodwill to develop weather control satellites and become the West Coast Hank Scorpio, isn’t he? It’s always the quiet, nondescript ones you need to worry about.

Goddamn, man. This being Deadspin, I want to make a joke...but I just can’t; nothing about child abuse is humerus.

How dare you suggest the Knicks could screw up a sure thing.

The real heroes here are the millions of low paid Chinese workers who have emigrated from the rural countryside to the cities in search of a better life for themselves and their families.

They’ll rebrand it as the “Corvette C8 II” halfway through production, then discontinue it once all the problems are corrected, declare that mid engine sports cars are a terrible idea, and not build another one for 30 years. 

To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.

“Oh but it’s okay guys, because we offer the new EcoSport in America instead!”

And this is why you should maintain at least one car length for each 10 miles per hour or follow at least 2 seconds behind. And don’t camp out in the passing lane.

Hotmail.

Being a Mazda fan is hazardous to your health. Pardon me while I drink myself into oblivion. 

If he’s such a great prognosticator, then why didn’t he open the broadcast with, “Everybody should just go to bed right now, because in a few hours you will all want to kill yourselves.”

I think it was that throw to Gronk down the sideline where he noted, “If the safety steps up, he’s going to Gronk one-on-one.” I immediately was staring at that safety, saw him step up, and I was like, “Here it comes.”