Catanzaro: [Negotiates Log Grip]
Catanzaro: [Handles Salmon Ladder]
Catanzaro: [Scales Warped Wall]
Color Guy: Catanzaro is killing it so far. KILLING it!
Play-By-Play Guy: But here's where it gets tricky.
Catanzaro: [Jumps over Slow and Low]
Catanzaro: [Dodges Hawaiian Punch]
Catanzaro: [Finishes Chicken Fingers With Deadly…

Other headlines that are equally as surprising:

I see they are listed in order of ability to make free-agency decisions in a timely fashion

CORRECTION: Arena Football Fan Gets Absolutely Wrecked, Leans Out Over Field

It's painfully obvious from this view that there was only one shooter.

Agreed. If there's anything good that comes out of this story, it's that at least I learned that a brave and great and wonderful girl, Jada, exists in this godforsaken cesspool called earth.

At least the Lego one's actually blocks.

it's times like this i'm glad i discovered deadspin before it goes to shit or rather becomes even shittier

Who is the dude sitting next to him, though?

There's a non-zero chance that a similar scene plays out after a Knicks game at some point next season.

Adam Silver is a good fucking commissioner. When was the last time we could say the Big 4 in sports had at least one good commissioner?

Well, there's a clear legal line that was mentioned in the article: 48 months age difference or less would not be considered a legal violation. I'd say that's a pretty reasonable line in the sand.

Doesn't every team need a batboy?

The fight broke out after a disagreement as to whether "Mexico is the Croatia of North America" or "Croatia is the Mexico of Europe."

He bit a guy, for the third time. You don't see that as a big deal?

I also had an italian hero for lunch.

Bite me once shame on you,

Until the Muslim in Chief is succesfully IMPEACHED and THROWN IN JAIL for his HIGH CRIMES and MISDERMEANERS against FREEDOM LOVING AMERUCICANS EVERYWHERE!