Catanzaro: [Negotiates Log Grip]
Catanzaro: [Handles Salmon Ladder]
Catanzaro: [Scales Warped Wall]
Color Guy: Catanzaro is killing it so far. KILLING it!
Play-By-Play Guy: But here's where it gets tricky.
Catanzaro: [Jumps over Slow and Low]
Catanzaro: [Dodges Hawaiian Punch]
Catanzaro: [Finishes Chicken Fingers With Deadly…

Other headlines that are equally as surprising:

I see they are listed in order of ability to make free-agency decisions in a timely fashion

CORRECTION: Arena Football Fan Gets Absolutely Wrecked, Leans Out Over Field

"DO NOT OPEN, NOT ONLY WILL YOU DIE, IT WILL HURT THE ENTIRE TIME."

Did anyone else want the stamp on the back to read:

Danger
Bears!
No, Really! Bears!

I read that in George Takei's voice. Ohh myyyyy.

It's painfully obvious from this view that there was only one shooter.

Agreed. If there's anything good that comes out of this story, it's that at least I learned that a brave and great and wonderful girl, Jada, exists in this godforsaken cesspool called earth.

At least the Lego one's actually blocks.

it's times like this i'm glad i discovered deadspin before it goes to shit or rather becomes even shittier

Who is the dude sitting next to him, though?

There's a non-zero chance that a similar scene plays out after a Knicks game at some point next season.

Adam Silver is a good fucking commissioner. When was the last time we could say the Big 4 in sports had at least one good commissioner?

Well, there's a clear legal line that was mentioned in the article: 48 months age difference or less would not be considered a legal violation. I'd say that's a pretty reasonable line in the sand.

Doesn't every team need a batboy?

The fight broke out after a disagreement as to whether "Mexico is the Croatia of North America" or "Croatia is the Mexico of Europe."

I also had an italian hero for lunch.