What a little sweetheart. So adorable.

Why would someone wait for SIX HOURS? Just hang up already and try again later. Also, not that I'm super down with "The Man" or whatever, but can we give companies a break once and awhile? I'm sure Target was doing all it could to staff up its customer service lines during that time and that all sorts of Target…

This game sounds boring and is no Dream Phone, a game I loved to play with or without other people.

Disclaimer: I work for the Army, where we require all personnel, including pregnant women, to receive an annual flu shot.

Since heat is what causes scents to break down and evolve from top to mid to base notes, rubbing your wrists together (and creating heat from friction) expedites the process, causing the scent to dissipate faster and giving you less time with those top notes you paid so much for.

Use your turn signal

If you notice traffic to the right of you is moving faster than you are, you should move over. Exception if there's an exit on the left that you need to take. Otherwise, slower traffic keep right.

Totally agreed. You kicked him while he was sleeping? I'm pretty sure he was just as annoyed to be there as you, the only difference is you're the only one who actually cemented your status as the ass in the story. And then to write about it like "look what an asshole his guy was to me because I'm fat!" You know what…

Thank you! I was just wondering why we don't see more ads with fat women paired with incredibly creepy-looking dudes with bad tattoos.

It's diversity! You never see attractive fat women paired with sketchoid bodybuilders doing Khal Drogo/Travis Bickle mashup cosplay.

Speaking of my-best-friend-tv, does anyone else get that message from Netflix where it stops what's playing and asks if you still want to keep watching and then you grumble out loud "DON'T JUDGE ME, NETFLIX" as you choose "keep watching"?

When people cry, "What about the men?" is this what they're talking about?

WE'LL DO ANYTHING. JUST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET ALL OF THESE CREEPY TWITCHY YAPPY LITTLE SWEATER-WEARING SHIT-FACTORY MOTHERFUCKERS OUT OF HERE.

I can't even handle this. I love penguins. They are nature's greatest gift to me (all of us really), I swear.

Yeah I'm sorry… but no. As much as I hate fat shaming and don't think heavier people should have to pay more, like fuck if I'm giving up space I paid for so wider people (not only fat people but also men like my husband with shoulders like a linebacker) can be more comfortable. I dare you to ask me on a flight and…

Hey guys, don't worry. Even though the cards won 4 games I know we still have a chance. Kershaw will still get us to the world series even if he gave up 8 hits and 4 runs in 3 innings. He can do it. Don't worry. Plus, we are awesome fans. We get real interested in baseball when the dodgers make playoffs. We know…

At this time, after the 9-0 obliteration of the Dodgers, and while I'm still properly drunk after a local brewers' Oktoberfest, I'd like to pass this little tidbit on to average Deadspin editor/writer/asslicker and the general readership:

There are a handfull of reasonable people in Kansas.

P.S. Send reinforcements.

Because a mom's life has more value than a human without kids. Duh.

No kidding. I'm a mom and it gets under my skin how every time a woman is a mom (a state which the majority of women in the world will achieve at some point), it seems to completely overwhelm the narrative in the media. Person first, then mother.