I’m getting an image of a magician. He has his hands locked in handcuffs. I don’t know what the significance of that is. It’s kind of weird. He wants me to let you know that mediums are bullshit.

If he were innocent, he would have raped himself. Q.E.D.

And on the Seventh Day, He looked at a menu and chose an item because he liked the ingredients. He ordered it, and it was good.

23 body sculpting tips that will have your dad drooling.

Additionally, a rickety treehouse doesn’t just go away in a hurricane. It becomes a hazard to others.

She was a classy addict taking Adderall and Oxy while making charging decisions about those dirty junkies who used Meth and Heroin.

Because it’s a local paper, and people in New Orleans care more about their basketball team than they do retired soccer players.

I don’t think you understand how “The Second City” is used, or know a lot about architecture.

Don’t you talk about Chicago.

To be fair, in every other clip he doesn’t know the playbook or screws up the playcall. Luckily he’s taking blimp rides and bonding with guys who will get cut.

Ted knows that you can only attempt a forward lateral if you are behind the axis of scrimmage, and only if the forward lateral is directed at an eligible recipient.

Tyga Tyga earning shite

If black people feel so oppressed by the police, why don’t they just play in the SEC, Joey?

Another week.

The song celebrates our troops’ resolve in our heroic fight against our traditional enemies, Canada and Florida.

I mean, if Ben has to stand when the judge walks into the courtroom...

The British understand that you shouldn’t be allowed to remove culturally significant artifacts from a country.

I’m disappointed there wasn’t mention that this was a race-related killing.

The VMA’s stopped being about video production shortly after Lauryn Hill won.

Tonight the role of “Drake” will be played by Aubrey Graham.