So you think every policeman and woman in Missouri is racist? Because I don't.

"I honestly never thought I'd be reading let alone writing about a news story where police officers in Missouri were the good guys helping to deal with racist abuse"

I once had a drink at a bar not 5 feet away from Valente Rodriguez from The George Lopez Show. I met Mario Lopez at a Hispanic festival. As you can see all of my celebrity encounters have been a direct result of my being mexican.

Yes, charge them with sexual assault, that's the fucking ticket

Alternate title: Blood-Thirsty Kitten Outsmarted By Horde of Violent Ducklings

I just unfriended someone on facebook because she said this would ruin the original movie. She dates a guy that wears a fedora and has a neckbeard, so I guess I should've seen it coming.

Exactly.

Lol you're saying men shouldn't be allowed to think the phrase "I want this baby"/"I don't want this baby". You're funny.

He didn't want her to have his child so he let her know how he felt and offered to give her money if she was interested? Help. Police. Murder.

Sorry guys, someone's gonna have to explain this one to me. I know who Amanda Palmer is, but why does her writing a poem cause fake deaths? Is it simply because he personally responded to a fan/exfan? Is that it? Is that what you're all worked into a lather over?

I truly do not care what crazy shit she does, she's making money and not hurting anyone doing it. Bless her heart.

My first real concert was...y'all ready for this?...Taking Back Sunday. Someone threw Sprite at me, I got kicked in the face, and a 7 foot gentleman saved me from the idiots in the mosh pit. BEST DAY EVER. Seriously though, the guys in Blink 182 seem like asshats but I still rock their music. Fuck you if you think…

My husband trims his nails with a pocket knife, so I can't help you there.

Same. My local Burger King still asks if you want a "girl toy or a boy toy" so fuck them.

Y'all don't even KNOW. No one on my facebook or tumblr cares about makeup so I have no one to talk to about this stuff. FYI super excited for my two latest purchases to get here: Almay smart shade foundation and L'oreal lumi primer. Here's to hopefully finding a foundation that doesn't make my eyes sting!

In middle school science class the teacher was talking about veins and casually joked that "the ladies should be careful when shaving around the back of the knee because if you cut yourself there you'll bleed out and die hahaha jk jk jk". I have never shaved that area ever.

I'm a brunette and I dyed the hair framing my face blonde when I was in middle school. I don't consider this embarrassing because I've never actually cared about how my hair looks. The embarrassing part is that they boy I had a crush on came up to me and told me my hair looked cool. I was super casual and was like…

Help I can't watch Broad City on the comedy central website. I've turned off noscript and everything shows up but the video portion stays black.

You know who else donated to charity? Hitler.

Not sharing bank accounts means always getting surprises from Amazon in the mail