Fuck you hulk, I'm gonna wear my chunky statement necklace and you can't stop me! Oh, that's right, you're not directing that at me are you?

Chris Pratt just asked you if you want to pizza, you should be grateful.

The couple that displays together stays together?

My favorite thing about Anna Farris is that she married a chubby Chris Pratt

Don't even joke like that.

You need to reread it then.

I need every meal I'm about to eat to be reviewed by Hagerty so she can tell me "But you don't need that"

I swear to god I thought the headline said "Elderly Communist" and I was so excited to read the review.

I hope Hilary Duff never stops.

I'm glad your mom did that, it could have saved the girls life.

I don't understand how mothers can do this to us. You don't have to love your children but why hate them?

What a crazy random happenstance!

No, they say "because God says we shouldn't murder" and they somehow got it in their heads that their god believes fetuses are people. Long story short: "My sky friend told me you shouldn't do that".

What even is this?

Haha

That's literally not at all what I said. 0/10. You can do better.

Yeah my son loves Frozen too. I still don't buy him anything with a Disney logo on it. They make enough fucking money as it is, I'm not contributing.

Wow dude, did you seriously just brag about your status on Kinja? Wow. Wow.

What makes you think I give a shit about pissing people off? I'm not trying to "reach" anyone.

One, you assume that I think every religious person is like this, I don't. Two, you assume I give a shit about "stooping to their level". I don't.