You know, there are a lot of people who really look forward to this every year, myself included. I can’t speak for all of them, but I’d really rather you put your creative writing assignment somewhere else.

Also, electroshock therapy isn’t primitive. The fact that so many people don’t know ECT is still used today is a…

Sean looks like such a smug fuck I just can’t

I’m confused how you’re confused about whether 5% being a good tip is sarcasm

“A restaurant that rhymes with Fred Cobster”

It is sad and it makes me sad too. Assuming everyone is an ass just helps with the strong feelings :/

Do you not know anything about American society?

Unless I missed something in the story, I suspect they weren’t broke and starving. Cheap fucks with the something-for-nothing mentality are the main perpetrators of shit like this.

No. Farting in a restaurant isn’t normal behavior. If the urge strikes, go outside or to the restroom. What is wrong with you?

Why are you people so afraid to say specific business names?

Farting blatantly in a restaurant is fucked up. You’re trolling

I think you’re actually a member of the Pinkham’s-law policing squad just trying to create new fodder to make anyone who even vaguely defends a customer look ridiculous. I know this is a phenomenon but I’m too groggy to look up the name

I feel such a visceral hatred for the guy who robbed the Pizza Hut driver, and I hope he has had a terrible life. Of all the things, why start by hitting him on the head? I hope the author was okay.

No one’s probably going to read this but it’s life or death (pretty much).... the Halloween spooky stories contest is coming, right? It’s the only thing getting me through the next couple of days, after which I plan on binging on scary stories as has been my tradition for the past 2 years

Not in California, apparently. Last year I was searching for jobs and the majority of what I was qualified for was ABA work (with autistic kids). One job posting advertised paid training. I went all the way out to Torrance, CA. This crackpot lady, at the end of the interview, told me she’d decided to change the setup…

One of my favorite stories to tell is when my friend and I “made” a tray of some Nestle Toll house cookies while baked. We pre-heated the oven and waited eagerly. Went to take them out and they were sitting on top of the stove. We never put them in the oven.

I choked on my sandwich at “my mom was Rod.” This comment needs more stars

There’s nothing wrong with St. Germain in sparkling wine. I’ve even seen it as a champagne cocktail at (upscale) places

As someone who doesn’t eat meat because I just plain don’t like it, I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is accidental because of the combination of the US sucking at accommodating us and drunchies/munchies being powerful. While high or drunk, I’ll more than happily pull the meat off a pizza someone ordered and…

There’s an easy solution to this and that’s to tell her to fuck off and let you be. I don’t get why people are such pansies. Who cares about embarrassing her? Everyone within earshot would probably start clapping

And medical professionals don’t do this fyi

Yep. If you went by what was here, you’d think 30% was a bad tip. It’s like when all the Jezzies post their height and weight.

At first I thought this letter was from Dear Abby and I wasn’t surprised. I used to read her column until one day some girl wrote that her family didn’t like her dressing skimpily around the house and it was causing arguments. Incidentally, she posted her height and weight. In response, the old hag told her she was…