How do we know this wasn't actually pimping for A.J.'s book? Get his name out there, at least among the sports cognoscenti, to the extent it was not, already.

@Beer-Fart: Fuck Czaban, & fuck Tha Lazah. Racist buffoons.

@crazyjoedavola: Sean is actually part of an experiment in real life quantum leaps, & right now, he's playing the part of Michael Beasley.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Oh, man, this reminds me: imagine if the Kardashians married into the Waltons. None more Californian?

@Will Leitch: So, did you burn that guy's house down?

Unlike fellow Trojan O.J. who sought the real killers but failed, Salisbury has found the real dick that was transmitted via his mobile-phone. It was Daulerio all along, just another phase in the "knock ESPN down a peg or three" plan that culminated with A.J. & Winslow's cockblocking of Ol' One-Eye.

& now, Jim has successfully put his Stingl in Deadspin.

Don't be giving away next week's Magary Mailbag, already.

threadjack/

Juno would have something to say about the excitement of men's cross.

@FrankDuxDisciples: Three o'clock.

Also: I don't think the USC staff would be listening to 11 years old punk-rock, SoCal incubated or not (though even better, Dexter Holland did grad work at 'SC)... I'm thinking more likely Against Me! or Thrice.

U SCamp!

You close with that Cap'n Kirk line, but fail to bring some Shatnerian goodness with the music clip. Who are you?

@BruschisBrewsky: See, I agree, but I also want to express my willingness to engage in coitus with each one. Each an "hell yes!", to boot.

@We Are All Lance Uppercut: That's the thing: I want him named Stormy, a la Ms Daniels, the future Senator from Louisiana, but still being bitter from the discontinuation of SURGE by the Coca-Cola Company, a part of me (obviously, not my pancreas) would enjoy that big fuck-you to Corporate America.

@V_Pain: I'd crash their pad.

See, this is what I've been saying. When we let the government run health-care, we get a fascist state... Same thing, here. Kriss Kross made him jump (jump!). They compelled his leap, with threat of the gulag if he didn't comply, but made no plan for an hard landing. Planned economies don't work.

@Theodore Donald Kerabatsos: & the other fifteen are travelling types, favouring omnibi, those typically outfitted with full bedroom spaces.

@ScientificMapp: Then, for the video about this one-sided correspondence, put Dido in yellow face & dye her hair — she could pass for the Hipster Grifter.