Trump also promised Christie the VP. Now he’s picking up dry cleaning.

I think even after Trump is dead there will be conspiracists stating that he isn’t really dead,

Wait... you want me to take an active part in my child’s life? I thought I just knock you up and then get to put the kid’s picture on my desk while I harass my female co-workers.

Cosby’s defense will also claim he once tried to drug and rape a women in an Airbnb, but was denied guest access because he was black.

And why in the fuck are they watching tennis?

Ashley Madison mixer, most likely

Her singing makes the hair stand up on my arms and every bit of me pays close attention. I was talking to a woman at work about music years ago and told her Mavis was hot as hell. She gave me the strangest look and something about “I just don’t see that.” I told to listen to her sing and it would make perfect sense.

Oh, fuck that noise. I try to make it sound like that scene from Austin Powers with Tom Arnold in the next stall when some fool is in the bathroom with me talking on the phone. There is a time and place for everything and the restroom is not the place for a phone conversation.

I would flush twice. Just to up the awkwardness factor.

Last week there was a guy in the stall next to me that was carrying on a full, professional phone conversation with a client with repeated plops in the background. I even waited to get up until he was finished so there wouldn’t be an audible flush.

Maybe Donald thinks they’re hot.

While looking for an appropriate gif I stumbled across this.

Her brother though, what a bad-ass

Did anyone listen to the This American Life recently with a woman describing her life after her genitals were mutilated in childhood? It’s a devastating piece but just so well done. She talks about confronting her mother who had the procedure done to her daughter even though she had also gone through it. It’s so…

I think some people are confused—Broadway’s Garry Marshall is a nickname I used for ALW. Garry Marshall did not weigh in on this feud.

Guy with a Masters in Special Education and 17 years working with children with severe autism here: 1. Fuck you DeNiro, you degenerate piece of garbage. 2. The causes of autism are widely accepted as a mess of disparate factors.....the age of the father, a heightened level of testosterone in the mother, genetics ( a…

She is so unbelievably fake on that show that it totally turned me off her. Like got to the point where the camera would cut to her for judging and just the sound of her voice grated because I knew she was about to try to be cute, or say something ridiculously manufactured and try to pass it off as a genuine moment.

Wanna make a bet that chronic alcoholism is more prevelant in the real housewife than lyme?

Some differences between Lyme’s Disease and Chronic Lyme: Lyme’s shows up on standard blood tests; Chronic Lyme does not. Lyme’s is typically able to be connected with being bitten by a tick (even if you don’t remember being bitten, you were likely in a tick-infested area); Chronic Lyme could happen anywhere.