This seems like it should be a paper towel commercial.

They ran out of braille nubs because of the drive-through ATM keys

Oh no! Does this mean that the evil drop box people are going to steal my term paper??

What happened to the space?? When did it become MyUnderscore??

@TheSerge: No. There is a legitimate mathematical "golden ratio." I don't remember all the details since I haven't worked with it since 8th grade geometry but the ratio is found in the human body constantly. But most importantly, your entire vision is seen through a rectangle that adheres to the golden ratio.

@cryptoReciprocal: I know! How dare the number one downloaded Windows application of all time actually have any users??!!

@squizzbutt: If you carry a smart or dumb phone, you're being tracked.

@krzysztof125: It's more akin to shopping in the super market warehouse vs. on the store's sales floor. I would never try to actually shop in the warehouse. It has every food imaginable, but finding the quality is much more difficult.

@tedknaz is right OK: Actually, holding it like that is the opt-out for the tracking. The phone can't triangulate your position if it can't find the cell towers.

@Cagny: Repercussions for what? Didn't you read the EULA? You agreed to it!

No... You need to claim more! =P

@Skynet1121: Uhm... please don't take the Onion with any salt at all... being a satirical publication and all...

@PPL(A), night: In America, we have money automatically deducted from our paychecks. At the end of the year, we add up how much money we payed to the government through the automatic deductions and then we see what we should have payed. If we payed too much money throughout the year, the government sends us a check…

@Ben Mordecai: OOOOR... send it to me, pay off MY student loans and write it off on your taxes next year!

Tell that to the graders of my baccalaureate thesis...

@snapper.fishes: especially if you're male.

@yehoshua_ghitis: Even a 2 1/2-year old like me can detect the sarcasm in daGoat's post.

@stupidsimple: hehe. My friend has the greatest T shirt ever. On the front, it says "Schrodinger's cat is dead" and the front says "Schrodinger's cat is alive." It's wonderful and I've tried to steal it many times :)

No, you don't need to be. But they do.

@dr.juls: More money, more homeless people fed, more families clothed, more missions funded, more support groups created... It's incredible how evil these churches are.