Mother Goodell: It's a refrigerator box, honey. It can't really go back in time.

Bob Breeno, everybody.

Breasts would like to apologize for their role in the cancer.

Who the hell would bait clicks by writing about MLS?

I'd hardly describe Kevin Durant as useless. He has one u.

[Jason Whitlock weighs in on Roger Goodell]

Father: [cocks gun]

After his arrest, Rich told the press that he feels really bad about the arrest, as it's resulted in him getting fired from his day job of responding to my Deadspin comments.

Better on your torso than inside it, I guess.

I'm not surprised he's upset. Nebraska has been suffering from chronic abuse for some time, now.

This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef. This little piggy HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LITTLE PIGGY?!

"SAT night?"