Yes, but among Venom 2, Eternals and Dune, which one sucked harder? Dune was a fricken snooze, like a three-hour long perfume commercial where everyone employs Joey Tribiani’s “smell the fart” acting method; Eternals was the lamest of MCU formula movies minus the action times over-seriousness; and Venom 2 was such a…

As part of her idiotic science denialism she claimed there was no gravity and threw herself out the window. I heard she insists on filming her underwater scenes without an air supply, too.

I’d rather be drug across a gravel parking lot than sit through the Master again, it has to be one of the most irritating, pointless movies ever made. Inherent Vice isn’t much better, with effectively one good laugh (which appeared in the trailer), and two hours of Pynchon’s mind-numbing comings and goings. And…

It’s all shit, LCD nonsense for people with zero standards.  Basic cable has better shit that Netflix.

Streaming = direct to DVD, every time.

It’s a streamer. Have there been any straight-to-streaming movies that rose above a C+? Even the ones usually considered the best of the bunch—Roma, Manc, the Irishman—are definitely sub-par compared to their cinematic counterparts.

I read he and his church are also not too big on gay people.  

I’ll do you one better and say they’ve been whiney and lame since the jump, sad white people’s music for when you have a headache or something. Like Bon Iver, I have never understood why anyone would want to spend their time listening to such fussy, irritating music. If David Letterman were transformed into music, it…

Have you heard what WAP means!?

I was going to skip this one, but now that I hear it’s got Smokey the Bear with a giant boner I’m intrigued. There’s an old French movie called the Beast that retells the little red riding hood story as a sexy adult affair with a werewolf that pops a boner, but Smokey’s more comedic, I’ll be interested to see that…

Baby Driver was abysmal, intelligence-insulting stuff, and everything I’ve read about this tells me Wright hasn’t corrected course. Hard pass.

Sounds horrible, as expected! Fuck the MCU, the strongest avenger was luckyrat.

10 inch what now

To be fair, he did have the White savior show up and first thing kill a black guy, so there’s that.

And is Rabban going to appear in the sequel for more than 10 seconds? The article says everyone’s complaining about Zendaya passing in a flash, but that’s true of most everyone outside of Paul’s immediate family. Baron Harkonnen is only there for a couple of very brief scene scenes; Rabban does little more than…

Here you come arguing for the merits of sub-mediocrity. Who asked for this mindless, meaningless shit of a movie? You apparently.  Go read the Dunciad ffs.

“Hopefully this dies a quick death.”

Oh now, it was absolute shit that most people turned off before the 15 minute mark. The zombies are so fast and powerful they can easily overrun the military, but somehow they stood still while someone built a wall of boxcars around then. Annnnnnnd I’m OUT

You don’t understand why Netflix greenlit this movie, Ignatiy? Sure you do: Netflix gives tons of cash to most anyone who can make them a movie. They don’t care about quality, there is no oversight, apparently—it’s just a cash-for-trash transaction. Then they take that shit product and throw it into the sea of…

Dave Chapelle and Ariel Pink are gonna go on a 75 city “I Been A Bad Boyyy!” tour, maybe get Trump to headline some dates.