I’m down with the Tudor nomenclature, though I’d propose calling the two-door with the roof removed “the Boleyn”.

I like to park next to the clean Rubicons of Boulder in a mud-covered Yaris.

Co-signing ‘get the fire department to install it’. To be certified, they have to attend a multi-day course, pass quizzes/exams, and a hands-on demonstration to become a Child Passenger Safety technician. Way better than exhausted parents trying to watch a Youtube video on their phone and guessing. 

I...kind of love it?

The only buildings that have parking garages in Black Hawk, CO are casinos, which makes me think this was an attempted re-make of Oceans 11 except with idiots.

Last I checked, DT was busy torching...

Add some aluminum, and you’ve got thermite!

This is basically an anti-ad for Hooked on Phonics.

That’s a good point. However, I may have found a solution...

It looks like the Santa Fe has the same 2.5 L engine and gets 22 city/28 hwy/25 overall.

I might be wrong, but it seems like it could move about 1 cubic foot of material:

Still talking to myself. Hyundai website says 1,410 for the base trim.

Ah, crap. CNET says 660 lbs, which sounds more realistic.

1700 lbs! More than the Colorado. That was kind of a turning point on my opinion on this one.

Yes — sorry it wasn’t clear I wasn’t disagreeing.

That looks like the wind turbine test facility on Hwy 93.

(Also, remove the decals and I love it.)

This is an automotive mullet:

I think his best shot is to harness all of the current rodent inhabitants into pulling it like some sort of nightmare Santa’s sleigh.

It’s bad enough just having the word “Colorado” on my license plate when I cross into Kansas. I’d rather save my money on these and keep a civil rights lawyer on retainer.