Dear old guy,

the GOP let the horse out of the barn a long time ago but only now is closing the doors. Except it wasn’t really a horse, but a mangy goat covered in rotten marmalade who thinks he’s a unicorn.

Robert Plant, Jimmy Page

Her? really? I mean good for her, I just... I just don’t get it. I would never see her in a cast list and be like “Oh yeah that is gonna be good” but then again her charms aren’t aimed at me I guess.

I have a fiance I love and a new dog who looks like a walking teddy bear, but I have never in my life been as happy as you are just holding that towel. Teach me.

You were so cute! I would have been so jealous you could get your hair that big.

Whatever, Jaden. Me circa 1989 says my overalls are cooler plus I have this towel. (Why so huge, Kinja? Why?)

lol wow I was NOT aware of this.

What a sexy Buddha. I’ll concede that Keanu has the same unflappable demeanor, however, being partly Asian doesn’t make one close to Indian.

Wait, what? What is this? It’s real?

Forgot about that travesty.

Two fat-shamers fat-shaming each other? Ha! I love it. They can’t throw any other insults because they’re essentially the same awful person, minus dietary preferences. Super entertaining. Thanks for delivering, internet.

Far more common than who thought? Because I’m pretty sure most women are not surprised by the news that when rapists get away with one rape, they go commit more. That’s what happens when a society doesn’t take rape as seriously as it should.

What I’m getting out of this is that someone took Megan Fox on a tour of a power plant and told her it was the Great Pyramid of Giza.

I feel the same way. I'm opposed to the death penalty not because I don't think there are people who deserve to be dead, but because I don't trust the government to discern who those people are.

I’m afraid that those comments are going to sneak over here too. I hope they don’t because they’re foul and disturbing, but at least we know that if they do they’ll be shut the fuck down right quick.

That doesn’t explain him shitting on her (once only by implication) in three separate interviews, unprompted. It doesn’t explain why she is the one he lashed out at. It doesn’t explain why the comments were so gendered. It doesn’t explain the mystery that is Adam Levine. So, nah.

This is a really good observation, and probably true.