Protip: If you have a surround sound system just unplug the center channel and you won’t have to listen to the announcers during the game, but will get all the other ambient sounds.

Bromley told cops that he found the woman naked on a bed when he emerged from the bathroom after checking into the Hyatt Herald Square over the weekend

“I’m glad this didn’t blow up in his face.” — JPP

You got to know when to hold it.

“P.P.P.P.P.S. Teacher hits us when we make mistakes. Send help.”

If I could march backward in time, I would hope to score in high school as well.

IF YOU HAVE A PARTIALLY TORN LCL, COACHES MAY MAKE YOU PLAY.

I noticed the totes are out. “We’ll do it after the game mom!” Now they're drunk and the totes sit empty.