I sort of approach every fresh encounter like it could turn into "Looking for Mr. Goodbar", and then wonder why I haven't had sex in so long.

"Family is important to me."

I always say that my cat is the only man I'll ever need. Even now, he's pleasantly curled up next to me on the couch, being quiet...not quite touching me, but, near enough. He's such a good boy!

My cat is more my child than a boyfriend.

me. Red Tabby, no collar or tags,spayed female, loud meow. You crazy cat lady with cheese flavored treats.

Oh shit! How come shit like this never happens in my part of North Texas?

"I'm ready to settle down" within what sounds like the first half hour of the date? No. Absolutely not. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Get your ass home.

Cats would never do this to anyone— they just don't have the attention span. This is why I will marry my cat and live happily ever after.

I fully expect this reply to be deleted after what I have to say. I would like to apologize ahead of time to everyone for this.

This woman needs to lose custody of her minor children. No joke, no exaggeration.

I can understand why they might not want it to be continuously reshared by news outlets, given the way that the general public sometimes responds. (Being hateful bigots is awful, but at a certain point, I feel sorry for anyone who's drawn the public eye unwittingly.)

But they asked Daniel to do something for them? Oh he…

Maybe they should try praying away the video.

They asked Daniel to remove the video, or they've asked that news outlets stop sharing it?

Either way, it's pretty ... rich?

DISSENTING OPINION: I remain convinced Gaston is one of those dudes with a tragically enormous dick, who thinks that his huge schlong means he has to do zero work in the sack. He just bumps your cervix for five minutes then rolls over and congratulates himself for being such a superior cocksman.