The first sentence wasn’t really english so I tuned it up.

I don’t have eyes in the back of my throat, champ.

I bet Mayfield avoided the handshake as a way to get into Sherman’s head. Like some sort of elaborate bank heist....a Hand Job, if you will.

The only real unwritten rule is hypocrisy.

On the other hand, it’s brilliant, because I ain’t getting punked by no mark-ass bottle.

Ground Control to Major Bummer

People who think addiction is just about will power piss me off. I’ve got some experience with addiction. Fortunately, opiates were never one of them. I’ve taken them for weeks on end after surgeries, and even not after surgeries, and stopped without ever getting a craving. I quit cigarettes without much trouble too.…

Elgort in this movie l0oks like a fratboy accused of rape who’s gotten a preppie makeover for his trial.

I think Franklin got involved because he’s just really interested in orthopedics. He’s sort of an orthopedophile, if you will.  

What might not suck: They opened a sensory room at Lincoln for for fans with autism and other sensory issues who need to take a break without having to exit the stadium. I know we are supposed to be dragging them but Swoop has headphones on and that’s fucking adorable.

No, this is poetic:

Higher chance of him having to eat a bear’s ass in prison

If this had happen during the Montreal portion of the Rays season, it would have been even more confusing because it would have all been in metric.

You’re over complicating things. As a Toronto sports fan I can 100% guarantee any Raptors’ wins are only to give us false hope to set up losing in the most crushing way possible. My simple prediction:
- Raps win both games in Oakland, by a combined 50, and every Warriors starter is injured in some fashion. Kawhi is…

Ahem.

I haven’t finished the essay yet, I got to the part where Victor was trying to get the info to call Drew’s wife but couldn’t unlock the phone.

“This is some pretty heavy stuff.”

I’m a lawyer and it is absolutely imperative that this video be released to the public, as it is a crime and the woman performing this humiliating act is essentially a sex slave.  Only her face should be blurred as his reputation is smeared for the entire world to witness.  Wait, lawyer isn’t the right word.  Voyeur,…

“Sometimes it’s clear he’s trying to push guys over the edge, but that’s just because he wants them to give an out of this world performance.”

Not calling it 9-1-2 is a crime.