Seriously. Why is that taking so fucking long? 

The only person who saw all this coming was Tony Romo. 

He’s a fucking slug.

Are you in 1996?

Instant carcophagus is more like it, amiright? Anyone...?

I’ve been using “clap’s back” for years.

Is his bar called Rum-Springa?

Every time I see the notion put forth that technique prescriptions are what is needed to make a game about smashing human bodies together (often with a running start) safer, my eyes roll out of my god damn skull. You can practice football kung fu all you want against dummies and guys standing still with their arms…

He was just trying to deprive the baby of oxygen so it might grow up to become a Steelers fan.

Even Steelers fans hate Steelers fans!

Steelers Fan Eats A Headbutt 

MNF will always exist for what it was originally intended: so gamblers can chase their Sunday losses.

No offense Rob, but you wanna cook a steak? I’ll tell you how to cook a steak!

On the other hand, I’m happy when these reviews spoil the film - my favorite thing on AVClub is reading all about obscure films I’ll never watch. It’s so dissatisfying when the review is handicapped by not being able to talk about the film in full.

Oh, it turns out the doctor was his mother, and the reason she couldn’t operate was she had puked and pissed on herself.

“tripods are not allowed in the seating areas.”

not shown, these guys later wheezed the juice.

One thing I’m not totally clear on... is there fighting in the bleachers?

To own the libs.

“Whoa hold on...get behind a man? You callin’ me a homo?!”