You guys find waldo?

Hell is an endless maze of sports arena bathrooms where adult men wearing football jerseys are waiting to piss on me.

Rivers: What the hell is that security guard doing?

Hey, I know people keep calling this guy Elite, but he gets into all sorts of trouble when he gets out of the pocket.

“What’s the problem? I was told to stand here, and wear this hat and jack..... oh shit.”

I think it’s touching that they’re going to donate the $ from that Salvation Army kettle to Gosder Cherilus’ widow.

Darth Vader can’t possibly be Luke Skywalker’s father. They don’t have the same last name.

Considering that you are entirely removed from the resource scarcity that might behaviorally drive a species towards monogamy or polygamy, I don’t think “I exist, therefore it isn’t hard-wired” is a valid argument (although you may be right all the same).

monogamy took the bone, and matrimony took the balls.

sounds like an ABC family movie, my experience was more like:

“Competition” beyond “MINE!” is a literally incomprehensible idea for five year olds. It’s as stupid as trying to teach them calculus.

I do this for myself after work. I almost never answer yes. But I still finish that god damned six pack.

IT IS IN TRUMP’S AMERICA YOU CUCK

Oooh, it’s like Racist Bingo! She’s got Jews Control the Media, White Lives Matter, All Muslims are Murders. She just needs Mexicans are Stealing the White Man’s Jobs and a photo of her in blackface (it’s not racist, it’s just a costume!) and she wins!!!!

Baseball is the only sport that actually looks like America.

That’ll get you a handy from Huckabee but no eye contact or “gay stuff”.

Rule 1 of the working world: the person who signs your paycheck is NEVER your friend, and you would be wise to never think otherwise.

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

The hijabs cancel out. I learned that in my Muslim Math 101 class at Trump University.