Also, anybody with a job has income tax witheld from their paycheck. Even if they get a refund, they've still been compelled to give Uncle Sam an interest-free loan for a few months.

Don't worry about where Hillary stands. She'll stand proudly and firmly wherever Goldman Sachs tells her to stand, until they tell her to move and stand somewhere else.

Some people say that a robotic glove can not be used to masturbate safely, but I think they can pull it off.

Don't blame capitalism for shitty human nature.

And nobody ever travels from Asia or Africa to the U.S.? Really? Hopefully, nobody in Al Qeda reads Jezebel. Because if they do, they now know how easy it would be to spread pandemic here by simply infecting a relative handful of food service workers whom our wonderful capitalist paradise forces to handle food while…

So, in order to follow your advice and only patronize resos that care about their employees' and the public's health, I would need to travel to NYC or leave the country altogether. Yep, like you said: "real, real easy"

After you.

Look in the mirror. You need to seek help yourself.

I wanna meet Jewoobs. I'm in love just hearing about her. Marry me, Jewoobs!

I hope that's sarcasm. If not, I hope you catch a severe contagious illness from an infected server, and then you go to the Republican convention

Name even one. I dare you.

Dear Capitalism: Thanks in advance for the next pandemic.

Oh, Jeeves—-bring 'round my time machine!

I can top all of those. As an atheist, I'm going to sue the catholic church for not making me pope.

It? It! Out? Out!