No, I wouldn't touch John Mayer with an eight inch pole. Besides, I've managed to successfully avoid hepatitis this long, would be a shame to break my streak now.

I'm almost (ALMOST!) tempted to write one myself, just for the puns. Skewers, hot meat, creamy garlic sauce, balls of...falafel, the jokes practically write themselves!

I cannot even explain to you how disappointed I am that that one wasn't about kebabs, just poor spelling

For those who like to look like an egg with a giant foot hatching out of it.

I love how you potentially/probably saved your and your coworkers' lives and a bunch of bros still chime in like "cool story, but I just reeeeeally need to correct you on this one thing that you weren't even wrong about". Way to prove the entire point of the article. (This gif is for them, not you, but I didn't want…

Did you bother to read the whole story or the comments?

Really, I HAD NO IDEA.

With one or two exceptions, I've remained very good friends with my exes. When one of them met his now wife, I told him he really needed to get on that, because out of all the women he's been interested in she was by far the best one, and in that I included myself. She is cool in a lot of different ways, and one of…

oh jeez - this is one of my biggest relationship deal breakers. If the guy I'm with can't deal with me having friends, I'm outta there. To me it's a sign of an unhealthy relationship, and a clue that the jealous person could be controlling and/or abusive (first thing an abuser does is cut back your support network.)

For my sister's I had everyone invited send me their funniest, loveliest memories, photos etc of her and then printed them on to fabric which I then made into bunting.

This is pretty low. A cover letter is supposed to help you show the hiring manager what you can bring to a new job, and this woman wants to use skills she's gained in the past to be a victim advocate in the future. This is probably an entry level job for her, or she'd be talkinga bout her criminal justice experience.…

There's nothing wrong with her body, that's how a 47 year old body looks, if you're lucky and have very, very good genes. Why people should continue the myth that beautiful = young I don't know. Because as a species our window of youth is relatively small, and we'll be old far longer than young. That's a long time to…

Of course, this is America and the reaction to the wrongdoing of a black man is almost always on a different scale. Rice must be dehumanized, demeaned, disparaged. He must be made into the monster. He must be forever punished. He, along with Chris Brown, must be made the poster boy (emphasis on the boy) for…

There's nothing wrong with remaking Ghostbusters with an all-ladeez cast.

What?! Choose! Choose the form of your Destructor, Bears!

No.

+100000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Gwyneth, texting your assistant to tell them to pick you up some red lingerie made from organic cotton hand-spun by yoga masters and sold in an exclusive Manhattan boutique for $5799 does not qualify as "sexing".

I get this, truly. It horrified me when someone pointed it out, but I have never dated a guy with brown eyes. Green or blue or I'm not interested, done and dusted. My line-up before my husband couldn't look more different in every other respect, but eye color is clearly a thing for me. Why? I have NO idea. I am STILL…