It’s not easy to become the most obnoxious team in a division with both the Yankees and Red Sox, but the Blue Jays are certainly trying their hardest. Good for them.

Ugh, no one involved is offended with NPR questions about sexuality?

All the more reason not to Howl about it.

Too bad for Cleveland. If they want answers from a Beat writer in 2016, they have no choice but to dig.

Sorry Bill, but Kuyt is hardly a Liverpool “washout.” Six years, 208 appearances, 51 goals for the Reds. I’ll never forget his hat trick against United in 2011. You leave my man alone!

If I remember correctly the Warriors choked away a 3-1 lead. They may be the chokingest team

According to Fangraphs, Trout is the 12th best-rated defensive outfielder this season, making him a shoo-in for his first GG.

Guys, child slavery is really bad and I could’ve done more to fight against it, but I decided to focus on staying quiet because football.

What about music?

Don’t worry, in two years when he’s in his 30s and giving up performances like AJ Green just had on Revis Island, they’ll be going out of their way to hide him. While paying him $15M a year, because they’re the Redskins.

Pineapple is by far the best fruit in the world. I will not stand for honeydew apologists who always say “well, you’ve never had a ripe honeydew then”. WELL WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?! I have been eating fruit salads for 29 years and I have never come across a piece of honeydew that has changed my perception that it’s a…

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Yeah fuck optimism! Cynicism is the only way to live! This guy would be happier if he hated everything.

In that case, great! The Ice Bucket challenge raised quite a bit of money and awareness, and there have been some pretty serious breakthroughs in ALS research because of that.

Nicolas Cage once stole the Constitution to stop other people from stealing it.

I don't care what his body looks like, I'll never be over the fact that his face is alllll Squidward.

Paraphrased: we support our military who is out there fighting for our freedoms (because any day now, we’re gonna be occupied and lose them? It’s been a very long time since our freedom was actually at stake in a military conflict), but we don’t support people who exercise those freedoms.

to save people time:

Does this mean you’ll be writing more boxing, Ham? Love your work and would love to see a weekly column or something