You Think The “First Five” is an official Kotaku review?

He’s Kidward!

Nah, you can totally play villains. Dungeon Keeper had you playing an evil that brought hell to the poor good people of the land. It’s the whole morality with being really close to mass shooters in real life that it’s too close for comfort. When it comes to fantasy, sci-fi or medieval settings, villain main characters…

Okay, I’ll make sure to let Fahey know that I’m onto his secret gaming journalist agenda to not acknowledge DROD: The Second Sky (an awesome game of an awesome series) because Beethro is a guy protagonist and not a girl protagonist.

This game is the new example of ‘Just because it’s controversial doesn’t mean it’s good.’. I liked Mortal Kombat, Wolfenstein and Postal because of the gameplay and the silly levels of ultraviolence were just the icing on the fun cake. The game seems like a very generic isometric game that only has the mass murderer…

You buy it without even playing it? Like what’s the point? I understand protesting censorship but you got to at least have interest in the product. What’s stopping you for buying every banned film or game out there, then?

So did they upload the outtakes video by mistake? I mean the guy is clearly unable to do his part and keeps getting distracted by his wife when he really wants to fulfill his dream of playing a McDonald’s character.

They should have went the route of wacky slapstick and constantly failing schemes to get the burger. It’d make the live action Hamburglar more tolerable. Although they should give him a razor first.

McDonald’s is trying to show the Hamburglar grown up and as a dad. Next you’re going to tell me they’re going to give Ronald McDonald a business suit, have Grimace become a war veteran and show a bunch of ‘funny’ (as in ‘cringeworthy and probably too adult) scandals involving Mayor McCheese.

The other ten are robots.

Where?

Will they be trying again? I wouldn’t mind throwing a good bunch of cash their way. I was interested in the game but didn’t open my wallet for it. I will now!

I love when Source FilmMaker projects reach this level of quality.

My mom is a real sweetheart but only if everything goes her way. She is a control freak that will halt the entire world if something is out of line. She went through a lot of rough stuff (losing her dad at a young age, two asshole husbands and her frustrating job). But she tried to take out her anger on me and my…

My theory on who is responsible:

Dark Souls does a great job with its lore and world. FNaF does a good job with its story for a game that’s run on a shoestring budget and being made by a single guy who is only experienced with a certain 3D engine. I’ll give credit to Scott for adding actual depth to the game that is pretty much recognized on the…

He has little bears growing out of his chest.

Missed opportunity to call the game “Freddy Fazbear’s Dead: The Final Five Nights”.

So do we have a solid idea of what the hell went on with Kojima and Konami? Did Konami really fire him? Did Kojima leave because he started to see bad signs in the company or as the result of a nasty fight? I’ve been seeing people claiming that Kojima took his ball and went home, pulling everything down with him. And…

Time to update a classic quote from Dom Helder Camara.