The point is that dudes want to take the opportunity to tell us how big their wieners are.

Well, I’m curious to know what kind of females he’s penetrating. Female cats? Female hamsters? Female goats? Female humans? Maybe that’s why he’s having such problems.

...

Once I saw a cloud that looked like a labrador retriever. I can now safely say, I suppose, that my parents’ one-year-old yellow lab should be POTUS. Thanks, Lord: naps, treats, and belly rubs for everyone!

No, he’s not the messiah, he’s just personally chosen by god to lead the chosen people. This cloud giving the Hitler salute proves it.